Tipping

Tipping has always been a little confusing to me.  I’m referring, of course, to the gratuity one doles out as an extra bonus for services rendered, not what one does to a cow.  I am, at times, unsure of who to tip and how much to tip.

When I was a younger man, in a restaurant, 15% of the bill was a great tip, right?  If you tipped the waiter 15%, it meant he or she had done a good job.  It meant you were really happy with his or her service.  The server would walk away with a 15% tip and think, “Well, all right, I gave those people great service.”  If you tipped, say, less than 15%, you were sending a message, to the server, that he or she could’ve done better.  10% was a pretty strong message.  If the service was abysmal, you could leave NO tip and that told the server, “We had lousy service, and you’d better up your game in the future.”

Today, however, it seems that 15% is expected, even for mediocre service.  15% is the lowest you can tip and not upset anyone, including your fellow diners.  And for good service (not even really great service), 20% or more is the norm.  I mean, c’mon.  What will the percentage be when my children are my age?  25%?  30%?  Yikes!  Listen, I’m not saying some service isn’t worth 20 or more percent, in fact I always tip really well for really good service.  But mediocre or poor service should be met with a mediocre or poor gratuity, shouldn’t it?  It’s important to note, here, that I have worked as a waiter and/or bartender in many restaurants over the years.  Hotel Hershey, Chi Chi’s, Roxy’s Cafe, The Indiana Pennsylvania Country Club…

When I bartended in New York City way back in the year 1995, sometimes the tip was actually larger than the bill.  This was in a swanky little Irish cigar bar called O’Nieals Grand Street, smack dab in the middle of Little Italy and Chinatown.  At the end of the night, after all the Italian restaurants on Mulberry Street closed, the Italian restaurant owners would come into our bar and drink and talk and smoke.  We called them “The Goodfellas”.  We got to know each of them and their regular drinks and would have their drinks on the bar before their butts settled into the bar stool.  It wasn’t uncommon for them to have only a couple of drinks and leave a 20 on the bar as a tip.  But we gave them fantastic service…

Further, since I live in Pennsylvania, and I can’t buy a six pack of beer at a 7Eleven, but instead have to go into a bar to get it, I get confused, every single time, as to whether or not I should tip the very nice and personable bartender for pausing their regular duties to get the 6 pack out of the refrigerator, put it in a bag, run my debit card and ask me how my night’s going.  Honestly, I usually don’t tip them because the 6 pack is already outrageously priced and to tip them a buck or so would make buying the 6 pack there even more ridiculous.

Tipping hairdressers is confusing as well.  If they’re the owner of the establishment, you don’t need to tip.  Is that right?  But if they’re an employee then you should tip.  But how much? 10%? What about gas station attendants in states where it’s illegal for me to pump my own gas?   How about masseuses?  Valet parking attendants?  What about the paperboy?  Why is my Sunday paper out in the far reaches of my driveway,  but my neighbor’s is neatly placed at his doorstep tied with a pink bow and an Andes Mint placed gently on top?

I know there are websites explaining this.  And you can even print out little cards to keep in your wallet to remind you.  But is that really necessary?  I guess it is, because I can’t keep it straight.  Perhaps a college class is necessary.  Tipping 101.

Recently, I found out, from my wife Amy, that how I tip in a restaurant is wrong and more than a little embarrassing.  I had absolutely no idea.  So, let’s say the bill is $43.76 and I’m using my debit card to pay.  Let’s also say that the service was good.  When filling out the little gratuity line, I would write down $8.24.  That would make it an even $52.00 on my bank statement.  So it’s a little less than 20%, but it’s still a really good tip.  It makes sense to me that I would make it an even$52.00, but Amy says I should just round the tip up to $9.00.  But, that would make the tip, just over, 21%.  The service wasn’t great…it was good.  And now, Amy says, the waiter has to count out two dimes and 4 pennies for his tip.  I can see her point.

I’m not writing this to complain.  I really am confused at times.  I just want to do the right thing, but not overdo it.

I guess, I think I’d rather be seen as a fair tipper than a big tipper.  That’s a good thing to aspire to…

Isn’t it?